C.U.M. Courage Under Malintent
Posted by grrrlriot on May 21, 2008
This is another article from my Riot Grrrl Online website.
C.U.M. Courage Under Malintent: written by- j.
The screams coming from the TV, vomitting out of your parents mouth, seeping from the teachers in front of you, they’re all true…or at least that’s what they want you think. Scream back, don’t be afraid. Its hard for me to sit here and write this and tell you not to be afraid because I’ve been afraid before, i’m scared all the time, i’m scared i’m gonna die alone, i’m scared my mother won’t love me because i’m queer, i’m scared my friends don’t really like me, i’m scared i’ll never do anything with my life, i’m scared all– the– time…and i’ve come to realize that its okay, fear is part of the process. THEY want you to be scared and you probably are, or you probably will be, but its okay, you don’t need to be scared, you’re not alone, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Don’t fall down, don’t let THEM think you don’t scream in colors, and bleed in rainbows and cum in your pants cuz we all do, we all sing and write and talk and touch and fuck and eat and jerk off and its okay, its amazing. Courage Under Malintent, its all a part of our lives, as queers, as fattys, as nerds, and weirdos, as punks, as goths, as whatever you call yourself but don’t ever feel necessarily apart of. THEY want you to hate yourself and THEY want you to fail but always remember, always remember, always remember that that there are those out there who want to hear you speak, who want you to win, who have your back. The monsters are real, I think you’re all smart enough to realize that, I think most of you already have. Take off your shirt, do a dance, do a shot, put on makecup, go to sleep, we all move at the pace of differnt drummers, the heart beats like how glass shatters.
I wanted this to somehow be some sort of political, activist, artsy call for revolution…or something like that, but i think it can be whatever you want it to be, becuase in the end i thik the most important thing is courage, Courage Under (THEY’RE) MALINTENT cuz they just wanna see you bleed and cry and we do, we cry and we’re afraid but we stand, we wake up and face the world, our friends, our family, ourselves and we move. One foot over the other, it takes only a second, one person can change the whole world, its not hopeless we won’t stop fighting, we won’t stop running and dreaming. The boogymen may be real but we out number him, together we’re stronger then fucking anyone, don’t let anyone make you think otherwise. It won’t end till there’s nothign left to fight for, till we can’t stand anymore and even then we’ll build each other
fake appendeges to help ourselves up cuz they can’t keep us down, not anymore, no not anymore and I’m so fucking mad, so fucking pissed off and I know you are too and don’t be afraid to be mad, embrace and face it cuz it helps, cuz it will help you love yourself and others and remember you are loved, YOU ARE LOVED….YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Freddy fucking Kruger can kiss my ass, Jerry Farwell can kiss my fat ass, George Bush senior and junior can kiss my faggot ass, you don’t fucking scare me, you don’t fucking scare us, not anymore cuz we’ve all got hearts and hands and lungs and dreams and we will not be quiet, we will not just stay still in the graves you appointed for us, no, no, no, no, so don’t even fucking think about, okay?